I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
