There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize