Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
