I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
