I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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