D3 body, D1 cock
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you win again, gameday.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
