I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
