i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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