that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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