Having a random hookup so left but love u
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
