I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
