What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can text with my tongue
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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