Say something about gay babies.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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