I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
