What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I can't put those talents on a resume
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
