end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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