Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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