Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
