I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
