Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
