"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
