i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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