I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You have to summon your inner elephant
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
