guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize