My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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