Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
