We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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