turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
