With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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