We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize