Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
