SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
