Me. At least after what I've been through.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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