I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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