You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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