I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
