Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?

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  (630): wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them? http://tfl.nu/up3m
  Replies (10) Good night (563) Bad night (3393)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..

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  (740): I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep.. http://tfl.nu/e7l5
  Replies (39) Good night (8175) Bad night (758)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.

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  (210): this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life. http://tfl.nu/lflc
  Replies (37) Good night (5007) Bad night (1148)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  the problem with open bar is i never know what to get

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."

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  (203): the problem with open bar is i never know what to get (781): did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..." http://tfl.nu/knqb
  Replies (10) Good night (5846) Bad night (1179)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"

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  (678): You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs" http://tfl.nu/8pn3
  Replies (14) Good night (6572) Bad night (1403)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.

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  (610): She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling. http://tfl.nu/koe0
  Replies (8) Good night (864) Bad night (2367)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.

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  (402): 2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America. http://tfl.nu/5vl1
  Replies (4) Good night (1605) Bad night (616)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.

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  (+44): I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand. http://tfl.nu/tiko
  Replies (2) Good night (787) Bad night (1278)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.

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  (904): its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go. http://tfl.nu/zvzo
  Replies (14) Good night (516) Bad night (1383)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.

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  (734): the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity. http://tfl.nu/gric
  Replies (5) Good night (1463) Bad night (534)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.

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  (361): Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment. http://tfl.nu/oa4j
  Replies (1) Good night (1222) Bad night (426)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him

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  (413): New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him http://tfl.nu/45u3
  Replies (5) Good night (645) Bad night (324)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.

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  (870): Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants. http://tfl.nu/u5r1
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (288)
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  (619): View more from California

  I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.

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  (619): I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays. http://tfl.nu/ooc2
  Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (227)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight

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  (212): Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight http://tfl.nu/x45a
  Replies (1) Good night (485) Bad night (339)

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