Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.