Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.

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(618): View more from Illinois

The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass

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(386): View more from Florida

I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...

(1-386): View more from Florida

thanks for that.

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(260): View more from Indiana

A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(937): View more from Ohio

I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out

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(210): View more from Texas

I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.

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(253): View more from Washington

I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.

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