So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit