You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles