this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in