Just fell off a train. Bad.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.