i just wanna soil my oats bro
"it" just moved
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
