it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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