Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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