I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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