I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
