You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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