THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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