my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
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We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
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Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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