just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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