My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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