How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
