I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
