worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
