New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
