I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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