Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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